
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/382325.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Hunger_Games_Trilogy_-_Suzanne_Collins
  Relationship:
      Katniss_Everdeen/Peeta_Mellark
  Character:
      Katniss_Everdeen, Peeta_Mellark, Finnack_Odair, Effie_Trinket, Cinna
  Additional Tags:
      First_Time
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-04-13 Words: 4172
****** Only For Us ******
by itsthedetails
Summary
     Written for the Girl on Fire Comment Fic Prompt: Catching Fire AU (no
     Quarter Quell). Katniss is set to begin her duties as a victor, and
     her virginity has fetched a record price, but she won't let her first
     time happen that way.
Katniss wakes in a dim room. She hears the low hum of the projection screen
displaying a view of clear, blue skies and the faint noises of people outside
the door. She sits up abruptly realizing that, yes, she can hear, with both
ears.
After being separated from Peeta in the Hovercraft and knocked out, they must
have brought her to the medical wing at the Training Center. There are doctors
and nurses in and out of her room, though none of them ever acknowledge her
attempts to ask what is going on? Whatever they have done to her she feels as
though she is as good as new.
A doctor in a stark white jacket gives her the all clear, and she is returned
to their suite of rooms in the Training Center. Effie is babbling away about
schedules and victor interviews, but Katniss can't be bothered to keep up.
Finally, she cuts her off mid-sentence. "Where is Peeta? Is he alright?"
Effie pauses and hesitates for a moment too long before she's fluttering about
again. "He's still in the medical wing, he'll be back soon. After all we can't
do victor interviews without both victors." She pats at her lavender wig,
looking like she is trying to remember something, but then starts to shoo her
to her room. "Off with you now. Wash and be ready for Cinna in twenty minutes."
***
The first time she sees Peeta after the Arena on the night of their first
Victors' interview he is dressed in a sharp suit and his blond hair is
perfectly coifed. She notices that even though he steps toward her with a
brilliant smile he wobbles and limps slightly. It seems that Capitol medicine
can fix her hearing, but not Peeta's leg. The prosthetic allows him to do
everything he did before, though Katniss thinks it's just one more the thing on
a long list of things the Capitol has already taken from him.
***
The next few days are filled with interviews, dinners, and cocktail parties.
All the Capitol citizens that rooted for them--specifically the ones that
sponsored them--expect a chance to meet them. Haymitch is back to his drinking
and Effie spends more time basking in the attention and fanfare than she does
explaining where they are headed next, that Katniss sticks as close to Peeta as
possible. After all, they are supposed to be in love.
After so many days huddled together in their cave trying to keep each alive;
she is still confused about her feelings for him. Peeta is the one that can
calm her when things get overwhelming; he holds her hand when she doesn't think
she can take one more question and when he looks into her eyes she thinks maybe
she really did fall in love in the Arena. Despite her own confusion, she knows
without a shadow of a doubt that what Peeta feels was never a strategy.
When the nightmares about Rue, Cato, the mutts and all the other terrible
things that have happened aren't keeping her up at night; trying to sort out
her feelings for Peeta is. She keeps thinking that if she can just get home,
get back to where everything is familiar to her, she'll be able to straighten
it all out.
Her victor duties in the Capitol are almost done, save for the culminating
celebration tonight and then some sort of smaller--intimate is the word Effie
uses--banquet tomorrow night, then she'll be going home. She just has to make
it through until then.
***
Cinna comes with her dress for tonight's party. Effie has briefed them about
what tonight's celebration entails, but Katniss hasn't really been listening.
The most she took away from what is said is the wealthiest and most important
people are going to be there tonight and she has to be on her best behavior.
After Effie finishes with her instructions, Peeta disappears into his room,
leaving Katniss alone for the first time in days. It doesn't seem to matter too
much because her prep team and Cinna arrive a short time later, but Katniss is
utterly aware of how she misses his presence beside her. What seems like hours
later, though it is not quite that long, she is dressed. For the first time,
Cinna has arranged her hair free and flowing around her shoulders. Her make up
is simple, gold eyeliner--similar to how Cinna himself wears his own golden
tattoos--rosy cheeks and neutral lips. Her dress is a thing of beauty. Floor-
length gold sequins, a neckline that conceals a bust she doesn't quite have and
a near non-existent backline that shows off the expanse of smooth, polished
skin of her back.
She finds herself staring in the mirror wondering who this girl staring back
is.
When it is time to go, she can't help, but wonder what Peeta will think when he
sees her. The thought disappears, though, the moment she lays eyes on him. He's
dressed in a perfectly tailored, crisp black suit with a fine gold thread to
match her dress stitched into the edge of the lapels. She smiles for real, her
breath taken away by him. It seems she's not the only one affected; Peeta who
is always quick with a compliment is at a loss for words. He stares at her,
slack-jawed, until he finally regains himself. When he laces his fingers with
hers and whispers against her ear how beautiful she is; she feels a blush burn
on her cheeks.
***
The first time she meets Finnick Odair, Katniss is struck by his physical
beauty. He's tall and muscular and his hair gleams under the light as if it is
spun with gold. She is wary of him at first, the only other victor she has met
so far has been Haymitch, but she can see immediately the two are nothing
alike. Despite the way he initially leers at her, she finds him to be harmless.
Finnick is unofficially assigned to escort her and Peeta through the party
tonight. Katniss doesn't quite understand why they need him to make
introductions, but she is happy for his company. Other than complimenting her
dress, Peeta has been virtually silent since Effie briefed them on tonight's
party and Katniss just isn't as good at making small talk without him to back
her up.
Finnick gives them a running commentary as they approach each guest, and
although each interaction is filled with pleasantries they become increasingly
awkward. Peeta is stone-faced. Every time a guest reaches out to shake her hand
or touches her in anyway his jaw clenches impossibly tighter and he glares at
them with barely controlled-fiery rage. He is acting completely unlike himself
in everyway. Katniss starts to worry their impending trip home and her lack of
reciprocation of feelings toward him is finally registering.
They meet men and women, old and young. All the guests clearly want to speak to
them both, but Katniss notices most of the men take a particular interest in
her while the women tend toward speaking to Peeta. Peeta never lets any of them
separate them for too long and more than once walks away from a guest mid-
sentence when Katniss is pulled too far from him.
Finnick chats easily, clearly familiar with all the guests. However, while he
is certainly nothing less than charming when he speaks to someone, Katniss
notices a blankness behind his eyes whenever he interacts with the Capitol
citizens. There is definitely something there that she just can't put her
finger on. Surprisingly, Katniss finds herself powering through, her mantra of
just making it through the night and then she can go home making it easier to
smile and laugh.
Some of the men she's introduced to are quite friendly, while others set
Katniss on edge, but all the Capitol people are so foreign to her it doesn't
seem any different then any of the other people they have met through the week.
Finally, the night is over. Effie deposits them back in their suite of rooms
and the first thing Katniss does is kick the heels she has been made to wear
off. She collapses on the couch in the common area with relief. Peeta hasn't
moved. He stares at her with a blank expression.
"What is wrong with you? You've barely said a word all night?"
Her question sets something off in him and he sheds his jacket angrily and
leaves it crumpled on the floor, tossing his tie on top of it.
He stands over her, his eyes burning with anger. "How can you act like nothing
is wrong? How could smile and talk to all those people like they weren't
bidding on you? I would have thought after everything, the reaping, the Arena,
the last thing you'd be is okay with this!"
Her brow crinkles in frustration and confusion. What is he talking about?
"Bidding? What do you mean?"
Some of the fire seeps from his expression, but he is still rigid with tension.
"Didn't you hear what Effie said about this party? Didn't you listen to what
Haymitch told us about it? Don't you remember all the things we've heard about
Finnick? Why do you think he was specifically assigned to introduce us? He's
been through this very thing."
Her stomach sinks like a lead balloon, her mind hasn't caught up to what Peeta
is saying, but she instinctively knows it is nothing good.
When she doesn't respond, he gets angry again, but not at her. "The Capitol is
whoring us out Katniss! Just like they did to Finnick and all the other
'desirable' victors. Tonight's party was an auction of sorts, all those guests
with their fancy clothes and buckets of money are right this minute in a
bidding war to win the right to take our virginities!"
A horrified gasp barely squeaks out of her throat and she recoils back as if
she's been burned. All of the saddened, veiled attempts Effie made at
explaining tonight's party filter to the surface of her memory and all the
lurid rumors about Finnick rush back.
Peeta crumples beside her on the couch, but she can't take him being so close
right now. She shoves herself up from her seated position and stumbles down the
hall to her room.
***
The first thought that comes to her mind when the haze of revulsion passes is,
how could she not have seen it? She pulls off the dress that not so long ago
made her feel so pretty, but now only makes her feel dirty and throws it to the
floor.
Cinna. He must have known too. Logically, she knows there is nothing he could
have done to stop this, but she's mad that he let her walk in there so
unprepared. She's mad at him, at Haymitch, at Effie, at all the Capitol
citizens that don't give a second thought at using her again for their own
amusement.
She feels betrayed by them all because this time she didn't see it coming.
She sits in the dim light for an unnamable amount of time. At first she thought
there must be a way out of this, but after the Games she knows there is no way
she can evade the Capitol again, not without putting everyone she loves at even
more risk.
Thinking about a stranger touching her, invading her in the most personal way
makes her ill to the point she thinks she might actually throw up. The more she
thinks about it the worse she feels until she can't stand to be cooped up in
her room any longer. Hastily, she throws on the tank and pants she sleeps in
and hurries from the room.
***
She expects Peeta to have gone to bed long ago, but he's still right where she
left him. He looks so defeated curled over on the couch, his head resting in
the cradle of his palms. She'd almost forgotten; they are forcing this onto him
as well. She thinks it might even be worse for him, while she can lie there
and--hopefully--block it all out, he'll have to perform.
She walks over to him and sinks onto the couch next to him, the flat of her
palm coming up to the strong curve of his shoulder and then slipping down to
rest against his back.
He inhales sharply and then slides his arms around her waist, fitting them
together so her face rests in the crook of his neck. They sit in silence
holding one another, trying not to think about what will happen tomorrow night.
At this point she just feels sad. She never really thought about who she would
lose her virginity to--maybe she just assumed it would be Gale--there was never
really any other option, at least before the Games. Now though, she wants more
than anything for it to be her choice.
Lifting her head, she pulls back so she can see Peeta's face; she doesn't pull
from his embrace though so she is close enough to see the pale freckles
sprinkled across the bridge of his nose and she knows. No matter what happens
tomorrow, she is losing her virginity tonight.
***
She doesn't know what to say so she stares into his eyes for a long moment.
Then, she decides she doesn't really need to say anything and closes the short
distance between their lips. They kissed many times during the Games, but this
one is just for them. Peeta's mouth is warm and soft. He kisses back, sliding
his tongue against hers. They kiss until she is gasping for breath and has to
pull away.
"There's nothing we can do about tomorrow, but we can make tonight ours."
The rest of the tension melts from his shoulders and he nods. He kisses her
soundly, then twists his fingers in hers and pulls her to her feet. He leads
her down the hall to his bedroom and shuts the door behind them.
They stare at each other, unsure of how to begin, until Peeta pulls her into
him to kiss her again. They settle onto the bed, their mouths never breaking
apart. They kiss for awhile, her hand at the base of his neck and his on her
waist. Eventually, she gets bold, her hand sliding over his shoulder and down
his arm to entwine their fingers. She pushes his hand under her shirt, nudging
him up toward her breast. It doesn't take more than that to entice him. He
pushes her shirt up, cups her breast, giving her a gentle squeeze before
teasing her nipple with his strong fingers.
A pleased sigh shutters out of her and Peeta takes it as sign to keep going. He
lifts her shirt off over her head and instead of leaning back in to kiss her he
goes lower and licks her nipple, teasing the pebbled nub with his teeth. The
sensation is overwhelming and her back arches involuntarily. He's gentle, but
firm and with each little broken moan that escapes her, it drags a deep groan
from him.
She can feel the hardness of his cock pressing against her thigh and she
shutters at the thought of what is to come. She grows impatient; always
demanding. She pulls off Peeta's dress shirt and the undershirt below; running
her fingers over his firm, defined muscle. They were hungry while in the Arena,
but they were also pushed to the limit physically and it shows in Peeta's
physique.
Peeta's fingers graze the waist of her pants, hesitant to go further. She
appreciates that he gives her the chance to stop or slow him down, but her skin
is aflame, and she wants more now.
She shifts up, forcing his hand lower and breathes his name in a rough whisper.
He abandons his gentlemanly act and slides her pants and underwear off in one
swift movement. She shivers, a bolt of nervous anticipation running up her
spine.
The tips of his fingers are callused and she feels like they leave a line
burned into her skin as he traces down her belly and between thighs.
She had very little privacy in their tiny home, so she has little experience
even doing this to herself that every touch seems to ignite a new feeling in
her. When Peeta's fingers slip over her clit and slide into her slit, she's
surprise to realize how wet she is. He spreads the wetness, thumbing her clit
until she's panting hard. The thought crosses her mind that he may have done
this before with someone from back home, but before it can really take form she
pushes it away. It doesn't matter what he did with other girls, he's with her
now.
She's not sure if he caught a glimpse of her thoughts in her expression or if
he simply leaned in to kiss her as he pressed a finger into her, but he
swallows her gasp as his finger slides up into her.
She tenses, not ready for the feeling of having something inside her, but as he
slowly drags his finger out and presses back in, she lets out a shuttering
breath and relaxes. It feels weird, but good. Her whole body tensing and
contracting, as Peeta adds a second and then third finger, stretching her until
she feels like she will burst apart.
They're sweating and she can feel the heat rolling off his body, the hot length
of his cock against her thigh as his fingers work her over. She's been so
caught up in how he's making her feel; she almost forgot this is as much for
him as it is for her.
She shifts, touches his chest, his arms, catches his gaze. His eyes are
intense, and she kisses him hard and sloppy. Pushing him back onto his knees,
she reaches out to undo his pants. Her fingers graze over his bulge and she can
see the muscles in his stomach tense and release. Quickly, she shoves the pants
and his briefs down his thighs, he has to stand to get them off completely, but
he's back between her thighs immediately.
She takes a long moment to look at him, like she wouldn't on the bank of the
river. His arms are solid; his biceps flex to hold his weight over her. His
torso is lean with muscle, tapering down to a slim waist. His cock is long and
thick, hanging heavy between his legs, shiny at the tip. She's never seen a
hard dick before, but she thinks his is an exception, not the rule.
Without thinking, she reaches out and circles her hand around the length. He
grunts low and guttural at her touch. His skin is hot, but underneath the
velvety softness, he is thick and hard.
Tentatively, she squeezes, moving her hand up and down, like she's heard she's
supposed to do. Before she can find a rhythm though, he grabs her wrist. She
thinks she's hurt him--done something wrong--but he doesn't pull her hand away.
"I don't think I'll last if you do that. Are you ready?"
He's trembling over her. Ready or not, she wants him inside her now. Knowing
she could never voice the thought, she just nods. He lowers himself, wraps his
fingers around her own and they both guide his dick to her entrance. His hips
stutter, like his body wants to shove forward and he's making it go slow.
It hurts as he enters her, she feels stretched wider than she can go, but the
noises Peeta is making make her want to pull him in closer, tighter, completely
inside her. Eventually, his hips are pressed snug to hers and the feeling of
utter connection is more than she can handle. Her hips push up telling him he
can move. He pulls back slightly and thrusts shallowly at first. He's clumsy
and can't find a rhythm, he jerks erratically, but it doesn't hurt her.
There's a tightness building low in her belly, she moves her hips with him,
trying to find the rhythm that will make that tightness expand and explode. She
can feel it, her muscles contracting rapidly, she mumbles, "come on, come on,
come on."
She's getting close, but just as she feels that whatever she's racing toward is
within reach, Peeta goes taught above her, his hips jerking spastically as he
shoots hot and wet inside her, calling her name.
She loses whatever was just out of her grasp, but she can feel the heat of
Peeta's release inside her and it gives her a heady feeling of satisfaction
that she did that to him.
Peeta has rolled to her side and is breathing heavy next to her. Her body still
wants its own release and her fingers find their way to her clit, pressing hard
at the sensitive spot. Her eyes have fluttered shut, but they fly open when she
hears Peeta groan, long and deep.
He's looking at where her fingers are pressed between her thighs and she pulls
her hand away quickly, her cheeks burning in embarrassment.
He twists quickly up again, gently brushing damp strands of hair from her
forehead.
"No, no, don't be…I didn't mean you had to stop. God, you don't have to stop,
you look…" His thought trails off and his eyes go foggy like he's picturing her
touching herself again.
She squirms, and his gaze refocuses. He slides down so his chest is flat on the
bed and his face is only centimeters from where her fingers just were. Her
breath catches when she realizes what he is going to do and instinctively she
tries to closes her thighs.
His body is in the way though. He slides his arms under her legs, bending his
elbows so he can rest his palms flat on her hipbones, his shoulders spreading
her thighs wide.
He hesitates; obviously not quite sure how to begin, he drops a soft kiss to
the inside of her thigh, mouths something that might be 'love you so much'
against her skin and presses his mouth to her clit.
She's startled by the initial feeling, his mouth is warm and wet and in such a
personal place. This seems even more intimate than when he was inside her only
a few minutes ago. He licks at her clit and then shifts to press his tongue
inside of her. She gasps, thrusts her hips up, knocking his head back.
He tries to back off, but she grabs at the back of his head and holds him to
her. "Don't stop."
He licks into her again, pressing his tongue inside--she realizes, tasting
himself in her. His mouth is hot against her folds and in what seems like
seconds she is back on the brink of what she lost before. Everything around her
is Peeta; she can see him, smell him, hear him, and feel him. She's lost
control of her body, her hips jerk erratically and intelligible sounds spill
from her lips.
She feels like her bow string, pulled to its tightest point and just when she
thinks the bow will break, the string is released and she is flying. Her toes
curl, her back arches, her fingers are twisted in the sheets and her breath is
shuttering like there isn't enough air in the room.
The tension melts out of her body, like butter in a heated pan and Peeta moves
up next to her, lifting her so she lays draped across his chest. She feels
boneless, like if she tried to stand her knees would give way and she'd
collapse to the floor.
They lay in silence, just the sounds of their breathing between them. Peeta's
fingers trace her spine and she realizes as she presses her ear tighter to his
chest that the beat she hears is only for her.
She doesn't want to lose this--wishes they could just stay in this room like
this forever--knowing as soon as they leave, the Capitol will own them again.
She tries to cuddle closer to ward off her dark thoughts. Peeta seems to
understand and holds her closer. She can't let it go, especially now that her
brain has finally caught up to her heart.
She tips her head back so she can see his face. "No matter what they make us
do, no matter what happens tomorrow or any of the days after that, I want you
to know that I'm yours. Not because of the Capitol, or anything else, but
because I want to be."
She can feel his breath catch in his chest and his eyes soften and glisten in
the dim light. She knows he loves her, knows he has long before the Games, but
now he knows she loves him back and before he can say anything to ruin the
moment she leans up and places a soft kiss to his lips.
Fin
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